The Difference Between a Friend and a Coach | Encouragement Plus

From The Encourager Newsletter Issue#001 June 2002. Copyright ? 2002 by Don H. Morris.

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?In everyone?s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.?
Albert Schweitzer

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Can You Hire Someone To Be Your Friend?

Sometimes when I talk to people about what I do as a personal or life coach they say something like this:

?It seems that coaching is like hiring someone to be my friend. How is a coach different from a friend??

In my view, a coaching relationship differs from a friendship in four important ways.

1. Friends Are Essential,
Coaches Are Optional

First of all, friends are essential elements of a satisfied life. Coaches are strictly optional. Coaches are consultants you hire to help you accomplish particular tasks (e.g., to establish goals, to develop action plans, to learn skills, to launch a new venture). You might even choose to hire a coach to assist you with developing more, or richer and more intimate, friendships.

2. Friends Are Long-Term,
Coaches Are Short-Term

Friends remain in our lives for long periods, perhaps until one or the other person dies. Coaching is a time-limited, contracted activity. When the client?s goals are met, the relationship ends.

3. Friends Share Broadly,
Coaches Have a Narrow Focus

Friends share a broad range of interests and activities with each other. The best of friends share on a deep emotional level. While coaches do form warm, supportive relationships with their clients, they are focused on the specific tasks and behaviors the client requests assistance with.

4. Friends Are Personally Involved,
Coaches Are Neutral

Many people are fortunate enough to have friends who are both caring and supportive, and who are assertive enough to ?tell it like they see it.? But friends cannot be counted upon to be uninvolved listeners; they are involved! At other times friends may remain silent out of fear of hurting your feelings. A coach can be a neutral sounding board, and is able to give impartial feedback on your progress toward your goals.

Five Reasons To Hire a Coach

A friend is a treasure money cannot buy! Cherish your friends. Nurture your friendships, and enjoy the give and take of these vital relationships. If, as is true for many people, your friendships are effective in providing the support and encouragement you need to achieve your dreams, count yourself blessed.

There are times, however, for all of us when we need more than friendships can offer to achieve our most important goals. Consider hiring a coach if any of the following are true for you:

1. You want to get more out of life, and you are not getting the encouragement and support you need from your family and friends.Coaches can help when friends are not enough.
2. You have identified specific skills that will help you enhance your personal and professional life, and you need someone else?s help in order to fully develop them.Coaches can offer expertise friends may not possess.
3. You need the structure a coach can provide in order to work consistently and efficiently at achieving your dreams.Coaches can help you develop effective action plans and keep you on track in following them.
4. You know from previous efforts to grow in your personal and professional life that you need a person to remind you and ask you about commitments.Coaches can, at your request, set up mechanisms to hold you accountable to the commitments you make. Accountability is the chief reason many people hire a coach.
5. You would appreciate and benefit from an impartial person acting as a sounding board.Coaches have trained their listening skills to a high degree. You can openly discuss new ideas and ?think out loud? to a coach without fear of criticism or rejection. As professionals, coaches keep everything you share confidential to the extent allowed by law.

Why not have both friends and a coach?

Source: http://encouragementplus.com/the-difference-between-a-friend-and-a-coach/

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